Who are you deep inside?

I have a secret. I'm not who you think I am. There is so much more to me than I've ever exposed to anyone...even to myself. True, I have a lot of similar characteristics to this other woman I speak of. Still, it brings tears to my eyes as I contemplate the greatness that seems locked inside, for I'm not convinced I can find the right key to set her free. I get glimpses of her now and again, which equally comforts and frustrates me. At times I remain in awe of her and then I look in the mirror and wonder where she went. As such, it's hard to articulate her in full but I sense a profoundness underneath this exterior. I see bits of pure love where no judgement exists for anyone else nor herself...where she embodies her personal values at a such a level I can only relate it to that which I've seen in movies. She has an incredible depth of knowledge, confidence, ability, and grace. I love her. I admire her. I aspire to be her. And yet here is the quandary - I am her already. She is me, I am her, we are one. I heard a powerful insight recently that I instantly knew it to be true and it scared me. It goes something like this...

• We come from spirit, therefore we are connected to all that is, was and will be.
• So it holds true that we arrived as a perfect and complete being.
• The only thing that holds us back is our awareness.
• Our awareness expands with every year of life and new set of experiences, which slowly reveals ourselves to us in a way that our human perspective considers "learned" growth (very logical).
• Yet, as a spiritual being I had it all the time. I just wasn't aware of it.

This means I am the the person I get fleeting glimpses of...I possess a deep well of knowledge, confidence, ability and grace - should I allow my awareness to bring it into view. That feels like the million dollar question. Do I have to accumulate, achieve, and receive the accolades of the mature me before I can acknowledge her...or by seeing myself for what I am will I be able to accumulate, achieve, and receive accolades? Further more - is that what my more evolved self would even care about?

I am sincerely intrigued with the idea of letting this "woman" as I see her loose. What wouldn't we all give to have the knowing we do right this moment in our 20s? And are we willing to give that in order to expedite our current internal wisdom of sorts so that we can have our future perspective now? I imagine my life would turn upside down in all the right ways if I have my 50-something year old mind in my current late 30-something year old body and life! What would I say different, do different or think different? Would I have more zest for life, be more honest with myself and others, would I even give a shit about what anyone else thinks?

So my secret is out. I'm not who you think I am. There is so much more to expose, both to myself and anyone out there listening. With a deep breath and loving heart I invite her to come out and play...to help me live my possibilities to their fullest.

I invite you to do the same, maybe our inner selves would like to play together :)