Letting Go

The first time I received the message I was in Key West, March of 2009. I'd gone there for a vacation alone, renting a room at a stunning home off Elizabeth Street in the ritzy part of the little town - not far from Duval Street. It was advertised as a Law of Attraction vacation where other like minded individuals would be. Turns out I was the only border that week, which was fine with me because I'd brought a lot of books and spent a lot of time meditating and such. One "such" happened to be taking a yoga class on the beach. It was awesome. I'd ride my bike across town to the state park, was let in earlier than the public for this class, joined other people under a canopy of trees and we followed along. The instructor changed it up a bit every day and on Thursday morning used a type that leveraged our gravity...so we'd get into a comfortable pose (believe it or not!) and then stay there for 5 minutes. It was extremely relaxing, what with the small waves crashing 20 feet away and all. So there I was minding my own business, holding my pose with my eyes closed, when I started seeing handwriting on the inside of my lids. It was the kind of cursive children are taught, which meant I knew it wasn't mine! It was slow and deliberate and what gave me chills is that after a word was written, the instructor would just happen to use it. You'd better believe I quickly started paying attention! The words were: allow, release, surrender, just be and let go. Not wanting to lose the apparent connection I had with a higher power, I didn't leave that beach for another four hours. I rented a chair and umbrella and sat there with pen and paper...trying to keep my mind quiet and jotting down any thoughts that came to mind. It was a powerful day that helped shape the events of my life very quickly and not one that I'll ever forget.

Fast forward to June after I'd announced my resignation and started down a path I didn't think I turn back from. I hired a Law of Attraction life coach to help me through what I fully expected to be an uncertain, maybe even turbulent transition. Great decision on my part by the way, without a doubt her insightful assistance drew out my deepest desires, confirmed the actions I was taking, identified my fears, and helped me find the power within to get where I wanted to go. During one of our conversations I mentioned an ailment I was having, specifically pain in my wrist that started in February and hadn't improved with the basic care I was giving it. Believing what I do about the connection between our body, mind, and spirit - I asked my coach for guidance so I could figure out how I'd manifested it and what I needed to do to make it go away. She suggested I look into Louise Hay's work around self healing. I did and Louise contends that the dis-ease we feel in our bodies is often times a message from our higher selves (remember the body, mind, spirit connection - well the body was hurting, so the idea is to ask the mind and/or spirit what's going on). According to Louise, my wrist issues had to do with lack of movement and ease. Made sense. After all, I was in the process of leaving a 15 year career...something I'd never done before and was certainly treading on unknown territory. I discussed it with my life coach and then meditated on it, receiving the message to let go. Huh...let go of what? The divorce was final in February and I was cool with everything...maybe let go of my fears? At a loss and in pain, I ended up seeing a hand specialist and got a cortisone shot that he said would do the trick. Thanks doc!

Fast forward to December - by which time I'd left corporate america, gotten rid of a lot of stuff, moved out of my apartment, and was halfway through the big trip...surely anyone on the outside could see how much I'd let go of! Unfortunately, I was still having pain but now in both wrists. In the meantime, I'd continued to explore the underlying concepts around Law of Attraction. I'd read or am still reading books such as Biology of Belief, Anatomy of the Spirit, Unconditional Life, and Finding Your Own North Star. I was beginning to understand the energy within our body, how it impacts us when it gets out of whack and the various ways it can be realigned for optimal health...which led me to researching acupuncturists (after all, it is California). In addition to reading, I'd also peruse the various blogs online dedicated to similar topics and found a course that sounded interesting: Spirit Guide Coaching. Long story short, the idea is that we have guardian angels (spirit guides, hunches, whatever you want to call it) and that by learning to communicate better with that entity (pay attention to the hunches, notice when an idea pops in your head that wasn't yours, etc.) we can enjoy a more balanced life (including finding that elusive life purpose). The reason I mention this last bit is because the homework I was given after my first of six sessions was to get in touch with my body...increase my already sensitive nature so that I could better recognize variations in how and where I feel things. Step one was to "get in touch" with a body part that's currently sensitive. Great - I'll work my wrists! I did the breath work to find a calm state, I gave appreciation for my wrists (after all, I can't do simply things like put on my bra without them - they're wonderfully flexible and awfully strong for such a small joint), and finally I asked for guidance on the lesson they may be trying to convey. What did I hear? You know...let go. Geeze, this was the 3rd time I was hearing this message and I still didn't understand - so in earnest, I asked for more clarity.

A couple of hours later I was listening to a mix on my iPod. An unfamiliar song came on, The Hardest Part by Coldplay, and just before I could hit fast forward a verse came on that stopped me in my tracks: "the hardest part was letting go and not taking part." Oooooohhhh, that shifted my perspective immediately. Finally something to start the wheels moving so I can live up to whatever it is I'm supposed to be letting go of! Hmmmm, so maybe it doesn't just have to do with removing myself from a situation - maybe it has to do with not allowing its essence to continue to be present in my life. This led me to start wondering whether or not:

• I'm over my divorce (do I still miss pieces parts?)
• I'd only let go of corporate america on the outside and not on the inside (side note: two days before I was browsing for jobs on Monster and not feeling good about it)
• I had deep beliefs about not being able to work for myself and be successful (the only success I've ever known job-wise was by working for someone else)
• I've been talking the talk but not yet walking it (saying it and believing it isn't always the same as living it and while it may seem I'm walking the walk just by means of this trip - there's still a lot of doubt traveling with me on what happens upon my return)
• I've been trying to do new things the old way, instead of doing new things a new way (clearly habits die hard)

So, in an attempt to help myself let go of all limiting beliefs...using a common law of attraction technique to reinforce what I know to be true so that it will help me pave the way for my future state...let me clearly say:

• I am really and truly a very happy, currently single, woman.
• I want and will be an entrepreneur with my own business that is mobile enough for me to continue traveling.
• I have succeeded in every professional path I've tried, no reason that should change just because I'm working for myself.
• I do not have to do things the same way I'm accustomed to them "just because" - I will create fun, new ways.
• I have a long list of success stories in my life that I later discovered aligned perfectly with Law of Attraction; being on new ground only means I'll have new success stories to add.
• I am a wildly creative person who can achieve new things using totally unique approaches and will have a blast doing it!

There. That's how I honestly feel. My next steps are to remain aware of my thoughts and how my body feels. While I am still learning to pick up on them, I do believe they will alert me to any issues I need to address further.

This is me...wanting to let go of that which no longer serves me, ready to embrace something new...signing off for now.