Me...version 3.0

"I love that I can reinvent myself." That's what I used to tell myself when I'd be going to yet another high school (four total) and while it was in fact true, I was still too young and unaware to take full advantage of it. But now at 35 - well, watch out because it's actually happening on purpose this time and I think this version is going to be pretty awesome if I do say so myself!

The idea of self versioning begs a few questions. How did I get here? What versions came before? Of those, what stays and what goes? And does everyone else go through this or am I some kind of anomaly? (The latter I seriously doubt.)

Let's start at the beginning with version 1.0 - childhood. It's this point in life where we are told who we are, both directly and indirectly. We learn a lot of societal rules that encompass our economic status, our intellectual ranking, and generally our place in the crowd. As infants our world extends no further than our hands and feet, as young children its hardly beyond our home, school, and friends' houses. Nope - we don't see the big picture; what you see is what you get. That's cool by me, I have no complaints - just find it interesting as I look back on how much I was defined by others and how easy it was to drink the koolaid. So be it, that's been an important foundation for future versions and if asked - I wouldn't change a thing.

Shift gears to version 2.0 - early adulthood. This is where I took how others had defined me, added a few ideas of my own, and set out to prove who I was. Like many others, I did the college thing - but poorly after version 1.0 indicated I wasn't the smartest kid on the block and of course at that point I'd invested heavily in said koolaid company ;) Nonetheless, I was able to sniff out an actual career that I really enjoyed and, despite the lack of a college degree, excelled in the field to the point of eventually equalling the income of my college degreed spouse. Which brings up the obvious point, while I did seek out the traditional marriage situation (twice I dare say) - I am happy to report that version 2.0 was clear enough on the lack of maternal instincts to steer clear of kids. Other than that - and along with all the other inputs that would signal success, I had the nice house and cars, took the annual cool vacations, and managed to start significant savings for retirement without credit card debt. Yay me!

Fast forward to version 3.0 - mid adulthood. This part is in progress and started over a year ago when my inner self started asking questions like "who am I" and "what do I want." Then, as though to help speed things along, big roles that had defined me started going away and the questions got louder and louder. While some say its an ideal time for self-improvement, I say I'm done with that kind of thinking (the kind that says I'm incomplete in some way and need to "fix" things) and prefer to say I'm on the road to self-discovery. So...

• version 1.0 was defined by others, since I was too young to be aware
• version 2.0 was poorly defined by me at a time when all I knew was version 1.0
• version 3.0 gives me the opportunity to take both versions, blend it with a much keener awareness of self, and reinvent myself with purpose and clear intentions

I suppose some may consider what I'm going through an identity crisis. Hmmmm, I prefer to think of it as serious questions and really honest answers. On the other hand, the Chinese language character for the word "crisis" is a combination of two other characters: "danger" and "opportunity" - and there is so much that excites me about this opportunity that I totally dig being a dangerous opportunist (ha, ha, ha).

Seriously though, for the first time in my life I feel as though I'm getting to know 'me', which was a bit obscure in previous translations. I hope you'll join me as I continue to carve out version 3.0. Here's to the possibilities!